we had been talking about it in theoretical terms for months.. if we had a baby where would we send them to school? if we were married would i change my last name? if we were grandparents on a park bench would we be drinking coffee or herbal tea? important questions. :)
we had been talking about it for months and it was on my mind quite a lot but the other day when i asked n to meet me at the coop for a small grocery shop, our plans for the future were the farthest thing from my mind.. and, of course, this is the moment he chooses to sit me down on a brownstone stoop and ask, "will you marry me? will you spend the rest of your life growing with me?" yes, yes.. such an honor, yes!
it's hard to convey how it feels to be n's fiance. how right and easy it feels, how special and surprising it is to look down and see his grandmother's ring on my finger, how incredibly joyful it is to share this with our family and friends (thank you little sister for hosting such a beautiful evening), and to be reminded of the work and planning that is ahead.
it's as if we have entered a new space together that requires different ways of thinking and being, a commitment to making this road our own while honoring it's edges.. it is a curious place but the feelings that arise are familiar as so much of our life together has been dedicated to exploring new territory and learning about ourselves inside of it (not easy, sometimes super challenging, but incredibly rewarding).. so this is a new frontier for sure but we have worked so hard to get here and i pray that the tools we've acquired along the way, coupled with our love of adventure, allow us to settle into this engagement with ease and to be present for the gifts and lessons that are available to us here.
i am so grateful for you, n. thank you for choosing to spend the rest of our days together. we mean everything to me and i love you more each day.